I only control these VMs personally. I mostly aim for something that’s easy to push out and keep things playing nicely.
I don’t play with other folks’ builds; as long as you aren’t abusing services- just keep on keeping on.
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it reads like a rapist’s police file
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But Linux has a code of conduct now!!!
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If you did control those VMs, would you change there swapiness value to the ones you posted?
Depends on their use; I run my VPS pretty tight but without overrunning them most of the time. All of the schedulers on the different services may work with, or against eachother. I tend to run my lower end client services with default settings except basic TCP tuning and possible RAM/etc scrubbing as above.
Most of the time I just tune the Hypervisor to handle for my VPS needs. I’ll tune it as time goes on, but the above works really well with a handful of ~2GB services and a behemoth webserver that basically caches all of the hundred-some domains because meh.
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Do you have Swap on zvols? What is the average RAM utilization %?
What is your ZFS ARC max size?
There are some known bad edge cases around OOM when using zvol as swap. 5.2 or 5.3 installer onwards allows you to leave a couple of GB or whatever as un-partitioned space where you can manually create a raw swap partition(linux).
I haven’t had the time to take a deeper look on the issue.
Right now memory is at 95% 
But it could be because I’m taking a snapshot to move a VM. VMs should use 14GB RAM in total.
ZFS ARC max size is 16GB (the host has 32GB RAM)
2/2 VMs have the “discard” setting set to ON. Is that a problem?
Disks are HDDs.